April is New Energy
How I use the Phases in an unexpected situation.
On my 24th day: I wrestle with the consequences after a decision I made. I was invited to appear on an unfamiliar tv outlet and declined, based on my initial search about them. I trusted my gut. Even though it was a hasty, limited gathering of information about them, my intuition worked to protect me and my particular path.
Most of life is familiar, so when this something popped up, my sales-resistance was automatic. I googled the person and the organization and was not encouraged by what I found. I concluded that this outreach by an obscure tv explained their promo work for clients on YouTube. I treated the invitation as a marketing effort for that purpose and replied that I am not interested in doing a promotional video.
The reaction from the scout startled me. I felt they were offended, saying the invitation was only to appear on their broadcast, that it was extended by the host they named. They remarked - somewhat huffy to me - that the host was informed that I declined. It was a final conclusion with no further discussion so I replied, "Thank you."
And then my body took over...
In an April day - the Phase 4 experience of the year - I mind my internal shifts. My body shows high anxiety and unnamed fear. So, I wait. The Phases work reliably in me, using this experience toward the Phases’ consistent objective: new growth and stronger development.
As emotion subsides, I look deeper through information provided by the solicitor's defensive reaction. I see the interviewer's profile on LinkedIn, where this invitation originated. I also looked at the company's website, which seems well developed. I fight the self-criticism, that I could have asked questions instead of assuming it was a random, impersonal outreach.
It took a full day for my body's reactions of self-doubt and paranoia to subside. But past experiences have trained me to hold my position until my world reassembles itself. I can't worry about a missed opportunity because internally I am not ready to be put out for general public viewing. My limited extension into public appearances suits me. So from that perspective I review my gut reaction against my lifelong priority system.
ENERGY
Energy is internal before it shows outside. As a natural physical feeling, you look back into situations in April and remember your intuitive actions. There are no real indications of energy, of actual movements by yourself or beyond you. But unconsciously, you use the early excitement. It’s anticipation. A certain knowledge of being yourself, ready to be inserted into events. When I reviewed my quick reaction, I observed my body’s responses as separate from my emotional reaction.
In Phase 4 you feel a need to carve your individual way as an unconscious testimony of your identity. Determination is the energy of survival that pours through you. Over the month, the moves you make may seem small or large, but they stick because they come up directly from inside you and go out. By honoring your intuition, you can find how and why you protect your deepest self. In the end, you will have made yourself distinct in a way others recognize as you.
This is you, surviving.
When looking at April, look for signs in your body, and words or actions that your organism automatically asserts. A subtle transformation happened in the first three months, covered by the distractions of all the activity around you. In Phase 4, you feel the energy of creating the unique position you will hold. When you know your position, proof of your particular way builds strong ownership in your life as your lifelong priority system absorbs the good out of every unexpected change.