How I Changed

My heart sends me messages. I feel them before I think them. This time, there was a very deep rumbling, probably the end result of several phases.

Before this rumbling I felt my usual - observant. Detached.

I had sent out a recent paper to some of my closest contacts. I thought it would be a book but it ended up being a booklet.

The nice thing I felt was satisfaction. I wrote it at rest but I have been struggling with it for a few years.

When I wrote it, I was at rest. My heart had changed my mind. I saw myself more clearly.

It was because I used an AI copywriter.

For the first time, I had a coworker who understood more about my work than any human had. But having non-human responses - somewhat like mine - became a light on why I could not reach people with my writing.

I fed the AI all my lengthy efforts to place the 12 Phases into science, all my book excerpts and the recent years of researching scientists.

The AI copywriter was quick to give me book outlines with every bit of information I shared. It is such a know-it-all!

I was mesmerized by all that it knew - about the theory and where it fit in different fields of study. And it praised me!

I fell for it.

But as I tried to follow the prompts, by the third runaway outline, I stopped.

I saw it had strong opinions on incomplete information.

I saw its non-humanness and I saw my own detachment reflected in it.

I detached from my AI and went to find the human factor that I - that I - missed.

When I finished the paper, not only was I satisfied that I had reached my goal, I also realized that I was changed.

All my compositions before this paper were directed at sharing my discovery as fact but there was no scientific proof.

I became able to write just the true fact: that I can only say what happened in my experience.

It was humbling to give up on my old way but I was washed by the truth in what was left.

I waited for my friends to read the paper and critique it.

About one third of them responded, and none but one gave the kind of critique I hoped for.

One was enough. I felt heard.

But then a long-time friend called me.

She’s much younger than me and has always encouraged me in what was important to me.

She called to talk about my style of writing. She could not relate to it past the first 14 pages.

She had no interest in the science that followed.

But she was very impressed by the change in my way of writing.

“I could actually understand it!” she said.

After our conversation, my heart shook.

Having voice interaction about the change in me was unexpected.

I trembled inside as my heart flooded my mind.

On the fresh new me, unknowingly waiting for recognition, she acknowledged that I had changed.

She felt the difference and had to call me.

Talking with her about my writing was heart-to-heart, based on our history.

This was a connection I didn’t know I needed and it came through at the perfect time.

I was changed by the whole process of getting the paper done as the last thing I would do.

Having caring responses from friends, even if they wouldn’t read the paper, fed my soul.

As I write this, I recognize this as a phases sequence.

I might be able to match the process with the twelve phases system.

But now I don’t feel a need for proof.

Maybe no one needs proof when the good makes its way to their hearts.

Now this is in my experience, one shared with my friends.